Dear Guy in Romania who cleaned out my checking account:

I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy now. I hope you're happy how you've hurt your cause forever. I hope you think you're clever! Because you know what!? NOW I am not going to give anymore money to charities who might send it to Romania. You know WHY? Because I'll be able to tell them that I've already made a twelve hundred dollar, non-tax deductable donation to ROMANIANS!

You, Guy in Romania! I have to drive home after classes tomorrow, get a police report, go close my checking account and open a new one! All because of you! I have to get new checks! I JUST BOUGHT checks! They have Care Bears on them! And now I have to get new ones! Because of you!

The bank is going to replace my money, oh yes. But I have a paper due on Tuesday. You wouldn't know about that because instead of going to a nice college or something over there in Romania, you decided to be a thief! THIEF! And now I have to drive three hours there and three back again so that I won't miss my write-in on Friday and so that I can work on my research paper!

I hope you are doing some good stuff with my money that you got out of your Romanian ATM with your fake Romanian ATM card that you made out of mine! I hope you are feeding some poor homeless person on the streets of Bucharest! And moreover, I hope you are enjoying it!

And some day, when I am a grownup and have more money than you could ever steal out of my bank account, I am going to come to Romania! And I am going to find you! And you know what I am going to do? I am going to buy you dinner! Because you OBVIOUSLY are so very destitute that you need to steal my BORROWED money out of my bank account, so that I have to drive two hundred miles home on short notice when I have a paper due and AFTER I actually have a social life where I live! So I am going to buy you dinner so that you don't starve to death, and so that, in a final twist of poetic justice, you will get exactly what you want while I laugh at you over a glass of white wine.

And then, when you are done with your dinner, I am going to kick you in the shin.

Have a good day. Remember, we will always have Amazon.com.

Regards,

(my name, here)

This is what the people in the Bush Administration do in their spare time!

The article:
http://www.newyorker.com/talk/content/articles/051107ta_talk_collins

The book about which the article is written:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0312284535/ref=sip_top_dp/104-3554941-9502349?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance#sipbody

Lewis 'Scooter' (who the hell puts someone named Scooter in their cabinet?) Libby writes books about BEARS raping LITTLE GIRLS! But the people in my jacked up state are probably going to pass a constitutional amendment saying that -I- am a danger to family values! Total Crap!

Everyone will now send happy thoughts, prayers, vibes, and meditations toward the Astros in St. Louis. The game starts at seven. I, personally, will be getting my drink on with a couple of my friends who are coming from Houston to provide me with companionship. Yes. I have no friends here. But that's not the point!

Astros! Think of them! And to quote Tom Hanks:

We're gonna win! We're gonna WIN!

Much better than reading about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (thought she was a virgin?):

Python Explodes

Such total, unadulterated, crap.

These women on the "Women of Faith" message boards, talking about how Chenoweth just didn't seem real, how they were disturbed by her apparently abberrant behaviour on Letterman.

What. Freaking. Ever.

Those women sure as hell wouldn't like me, then. If a person doesn't conform to their idea of what a 'good' Christian is, then they dismiss her -- outright. Which is what they have done here. These are the sorts of people that make Christians look like jackasses. Props to Kristin Chenoweth. I'm glad that she's got the guts to stick with her what her heart tells her whether other people like it or not. Christ said that would happen. Looks like Cheno is a victim of the Pharisees.

I'm going to have one. Top of the ninth...Astros are down by three. Two outs...Beltran's up. And...commercial. Because they have to warm up the reliever for the Cardinals...Gah!

And it's over.

Yeah, Baby!!!!

We So Kicked Their Collective Ass!

The End!

Didn't do CRAP today.

And I'm proud of it. I was a bit ill, but I'm better now. So take that and rewind it back.

I made LJ icons for myself and the Kimberley. I like them. I have decided that the only pictures of me that will be publicized will be distorted in some way, because your mind fills in the blanks and assumes I'm hot. It's a good theory, anyway.

I am feeling considerably hotter than normal because I can fit into some of my old clothes. Most notably, my 'little black dress' which I am wearing tomorrow to Brazosport. Which reminds me that I should find out what time that is...

I'm kind of hungry, but I think I'll wait till Liz gets out of class to get food, cause then we can make a joint effort. And because I'm not too sure that I actually want to move from this spot. It's quite comfyfied.

The Astros lost today...in the twelfth, so I guess we can give them that. I'm kinda irritated cause I volunteered to work on Saturday so that Flash wouldn't have to, and now I'm going to miss the ball game -- but Dad says that it -might- be an evening game. Which would be fine; I'd just have to park separately at the game. No worries there.

I wish it would not rain tomorrow morning cause I have a sudden urge to ride my bike before we go to Brazosport.

And now I'm ADD and am going to do something else. The End.

Hehe! I just read my editorial, published in the Baytown Sun (aka Daily Mistake). So it will either shut them up real good, or hellfire and brimstone will rain down upon my person.

We shall see...

That bunny is so damn cute I nearly cried when I saw it. And every time I look at it, it's so cute that I can't look away for like. . .ten minutes. It sure ain't me. I know nobody who looks at me for minutes on end and can't look away.